The 3 Body Problem of Home Maintenance


The 3 Body Problem & Home Maintenance

Rita McWaters • March 2024

Hey there honey badgers!

My family is huge fans of the Radiolab podcast. On the way to school this week, my son played the ​Zoozve​ episode which is about how a mistake on a children's poster led to the naming of a quasi-moon of Venus. It’s a fun listen. About halfway through the program, they introduced the mathematical conundrum known as the three-body problem. Basically, if you want to predict and understand the relationship between two orbiting bodies, we have math for that. No problem (well, no problem for them). The smarties out there can predict and understand how the gravities of the TWO bodies are pulling on each other. However, adding a third body? Forget about it. The math becomes impossible. Well, you can predict short term movement, but nothing beyond that.

How on earth does this relate to home maintenance?

I share a house with my husband and two kiddos. When I want to start a decluttering project or a home improvement project that involves them, I can state my intention. I can ask, beg, convince, manipulate, bully, etc. but I am not in control. Once other people enter into the equation, that's it. I am not guaranteed I will get the outcome I want.

Even if I am working by myself, I am battling with all my various personalities - will Rita the Minimalist win or will it be Sentimental Rita, Practical Rita, or Lazy Rita?

If you want the project to actually get done, you need to acknowledge how all the differing facets of your personality play into your vision. We are complicated beings – we can both minimalist and messy. Both sentimental and practical. When planning out projects, give a nod to each of those personalities. Allow yourself to be sentimental when needed and to be minimalist where needed. My desk needs to be minimalist. My bedroom? I like it cozy and to be surrounded by happy memories. It’s not my minimalist space. In the garage, I like confined chaos in certain spaces and a militant neatness in others.

When working with others, it can be hard to share control of an idea. After all, we spent time thinking and researching it. We have Pinterest boards! We have notes! Plans! We have the perfect plan for the garage. We know just how our kid's room should function. We have just the perfect idea for the bedroom. Everyone should respect the time and energy you spent on it, right? And if you are the parent, then you get to be the decider, right? But what happens when we show up like this? Others shut us down. It’s like pulling teeth to get the project moving. There is so much tension. Blah.

I invite you to slow down. Have you ever been railroaded? Been bullied into something? Doesn't feel good. We humans love to share, be heard, and to collaborate. Funny though, because we kind of suck at it.

Does it mean it's impossible? NOPE. I highly recommend sitting down with your people and talking about vision before starting a decluttering or home improvement project (in my course, I have instructions on how to do this if you need help). If everyone is sharing the same, shared reasons and understands how the outcome relates to their own happiness, you are more likely to hold everyone's attention throughout the project.

While the first couple of times you practice relinquishing control, things might get messy. It takes practice. In the end, you will find that everyone in your family feels more love, respect, and there is a willingness to chip in. This includes you too. You may think that you had "the perfect" plan for the garage, but if you invite others in, you may end up with an even better plan AND find that your people are vested in the project.

Imagine yourself as one of the three bodies, you are just along for the ride. You are not in full control of your path. Make it enjoyable. Make it loving. Invite your people to join you in that dance.

– Rita

May Tasks

Reoccurring Tasks

  1. If you have a water softener, take a peek at those salt levels.
  2. Is it time to change your HVAC filter? When you are done, mark it in your calendar and order new ones if needed.

Maintain

  1. Clean and inspect the HVAC outdoor unit when its over 80 degrees out.
  2. Check for termites and other critters.
  3. Clear the concrete of weeds growing in the cracks and between slabs. (In the course, I have a solution that will keep it from happening again for 5 to 10 years!)

Prep

Haven't been keeping up with home maintenance? Keep it simple and just do these tasks to start. These tasks are the one and done tasks you can do that will make future maintenance and DIY task so much easier.

  1. New? Join us online for an orientation.
  2. Organize paperwork related to the home.
  3. Create a home maintenance budget for your home.
  4. Get rid of common hiccups to home maintenance carefully assessing those things that make chores bigger than they need to be (i.e. creating access to common maintenance places). No body wants to do two big chores at once! See the Prep course for more on this.

Need help with any of those tasks? There is much more information inside our community.

The Skill Needed this Month

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Main + Tenacious

Life is messy, and that’s okay. I’m here to help you tackle home maintenance in a way that’s reasonable, effective, and never about perfection. Whether you’ve been in your home for years or just moved in, you’re not alone—together, we’ll create a plan that works for your unique home and schedule. Let’s make maintaining your space feel manageable and enjoyable.

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